Dread
Terrible how
Cold
Reaching out
And receiving
Neglect
Can start
To feel
On the upper
Left side
Of my
Chest.
I already
Knew that
Though.
It’s the vocal chords
Saying
No one
Is listening
Be quiet
And cut off
Those attempts
And fold
The left shoulder
And collarbone
In
To protect what is
Underneath
Ribs
By
Cutting off blood supply
To
…
I don’t know.
A nerve bundle probably.
That’s why it’s cold
Ask someone with full
Anatomy lessons.
Try not
To forget
How to
Breathe
Or
Hum.
Maybe
It too
Will pass.
But
Not for a long
Time
Now.
That view
Isn’t so much
In colour
As it is
Black and ice blue
Scribbles
Trying
To find a way
Out.
And failing to get
Any help
But eyes
Watching back.
Again.
Not the first time
Round the bend.
Just the worst
Because I was already
Being hit
From all
Angles.
And there’s never
A way out of neglect
Alone.
Cannot out explain
My own emotions.
Never.
Which is why it hurts so much
To keep
Reaching out.
Even though
I don’t believe
Anyone
Will ever
Reply
But me.
That’s why art therapy
Someone else
To put names
To feelings
And why
And how
To help
Breathe
And plan
For you
Sometimes
Until
You
Relearn
How.
I hope.
At least in word and re-attempt alone.
I Am Who I Make Myself 